Coach Bud’s reaction to drinking Dasani water last night is literally everyone on planet Earth.

I can’t stop watching this clip. Not only was Bud disgusted with the water, he didn’t want it anywhere NEAR him. Most people would just take a sip, realize it tastes like trash, and set it aside. Nope. That’s how bad Dasani is. Put it down and send it to another room entirely. Load up all of the Dasani on the planet and send it to Mars on Elon’s next Space X mission.

And I honestly have no idea why that is. Dasani is a Coke product, so presumably one of the largest beverage producers in the world could make bottled water that doesn’t taste like the mop water from a bucket used to clean a dorm room bathroom. But here we are. I’ve heard some theories that there’s more sodium in it, that it contains different minerals because it’s bottled worldwide, plastic leach, etc. There are DOZENS of think pieces about it though. Here’s one. Here’s another. One thing seems certain: The one unifier for all living, breathing human beings that inhabit the Earth, is that we all agree Dasai water is liquid trash.

Now you may be asking yourself, ‘self,’ ‘what are the best bottled waters?’ Well admittedly, my last food/drink power ranking did NOT go over well. My wife dragged me through the internet streets for my movie theater candy power rankings that we posted a week ago. I didn’t think a list of Dots, Sour Patch Kids, and Junior Mints would be controversial, but it seems my candy palette may not be that refined according to the peanut gallery. That said, I am once again willing to throw myself out on a limb and present my bottled water power rankings. Here we go:

3) Crystal Geyser

Tastes like water.

2) Ice Mountain

Watery in flavor and texture.

1) Fiji

Water, but more boujee and expensive.

PS: I think I need to silence Bucks Twitter on my timeline until March. They are upset about EVERYTHING. Khris Middleton has been in their crosshairs for most of the season because he’s in a contract year and can’t get on the floor. But last night even Giannis drew their ire. Giannis! I’ll admit, he had a weird game. Only 7 points, but 18 rebounds and 10 assists. And some of those rebounds were HUGE late in the game. To me it looked like he was just deferring and focusing on setting up his teammates and setting solid screens, but Bucks Twitter is convinced that he’s dogging it and no longer cares about regular season games. They also think he might be past his prime. Remember, this is a guy who ONE WEEK AGO had back-to-back 40/20 games and then dropped a double nickel. Have an attention span for me one time.