The Timeless Art of Seduction: Costco Card Edition.

The Timeless Art of Seduction.

Laugh out loud funny moment caught during a random college basketball broadcast. A young gentleman suitor trying to woo a female counterpart. How does he prove to her that he is a worthwhile time investment? Does he shower her affection? Does he sway her with a gift? Does he try to garner her favor by making her laugh with a joke? Nope, nope, nope. All wastes of time. And in the year of Lord, 2022, time is a precious commodity.

So our young beau cuts directly to the chase: He whips it out. He whips out his Costco card. And at 18-22 years old, there may be nothing better than having access to the modern day Xanadu that is Costco. Start to date me, and you’ll enter a world of heretofore unknown levels of low unit prices. You need me to pick you up 128 rolls of toilet paper of the entire semester? Done. A 4-liter bottle of Kirkland Vodka for ladies night out? I got you. Maybe you can come with me and we can enjoy a couple of all-beef hot dogs with unlimited soda refills for $4. Play your cards right and I’ll take you on a Sunday for all of the food samples your heart desires.

Any other guy on her roster never stood a chance. They’re probably out there slinging Sam’s Club like a bunch of poors. Grow up, Peter Pan. This is a man’s game.

PS: Can you imagine if this kid is an Amazon Prime member too? Lordy.

Double PS: I think my favorite part of this video is how she seems genuinely impressed. That ‘WOW’ was for real.