Hey, Kellogg’s:
Story from Michigan about a man who is suing Kellogg’s for what he claims to be is essentially false advertising. He states that Kellogg’s is not being truthful about the amount of real, actual strawberries in their frosted strawberry Pop Tarts.
First things first: His first problem is that he’s even buying the frosted strawberry version of Pop Tarts. Everybody knows the only flavor of Pop Tarts that matter are the Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Pop Tarts. That’s it. That’s the list. If you want fruit flavor in your breakfast pastry then skip the Pop Tarts and buy Toaster Strudel like an adult.
Second: To steal a phrase from 12-year-old me; no doi there aren’t real strawberries in strawberry Pop Tarts. When I was talking about this on the air this morning I speculated that the word ‘strawberry’ doesn’t even exist on the frosted strawberry Pop Tart ingredient list. I was shocked, and pleasantly surprised, to find out that it is! ‘Less than 2% dried strawberries.’ And that ‘less than 2%’ is 100% more than I thought it had. It also contains sodium acid pyrophosphate, xanthan gum, Red 40, Yellow 6, and Blue 1. Not too shabby. I’d say that Red 35 is my favorite red flavor, but Red 40 will do in a pinch.
Now how much is this man suing for for the emotional damage inflicted upon him by Kellogg’s? $5 million dollars. A cool $5 million and this guy will finally have the closure he needs to move on with his life. Sounds reasonable.
PS: 100% chance this dude would settle for a year’s supply of Pop Tarts like Kramer in the Cafe Latte episode of Seinfeld.
Double PS: This frivolous lawsuit reminds me of the Subway scandal a few years back when someone sued Subway over the actual length of their footlong subs. Remember this:
Not totally out of the ordinary for someone to embellish by an inch or two amright or amiright?? Ahhhhhh. We have fun here.
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