The Brewers are having an alumni home run derby on July 25th and it is going to be appointment viewing.

Sweet Sassy Molassy! The Brewers have been rolling out different things in celebration of the 25th anniversary of Miller Park (#millerparkforever) and this is the best one yet. An alumni home run derby?? Hell yes.

So it sounds like Carlos Gomez and Ryan Braun are going to be the team captains and pick teams playground style. The other players involved are: Nyjer Morgan aka Tony Plush (gotta go!), Corey Hart, Bill Hall (presumably with a pink bat), Yovani Gallardo, Casey McGehee, and Eric Thames. Each player will have two minutes to hit as many home runs as possible, and I’m assuming we’re talking about legit home runs, unless there’s some kind of temporary fence they’re going to roll in for this thing.

With that said, let’s handicap the field from least likely to most likely to win this Derby:

8) Yovani Gallardo

Remember when pitchers had to hit?? Feels like talking about the Dead Ball Era at this point. But Yo was probably the best hitting pitcher I’ve ever seen in a Brewer jersey. Apologies to Brooks Kieschnick. I think CC would have rivaled him if he would have stayed in the NL, but Gallardo was the best in my lifetime. That said, he’s still a pitcher, and hasn’t played an MLB game since 2018. Sorry, Yo.

7) Nyjer Morgan

What a moment! Nyjer is one of those random players that we’ll always remember from that 2011 team. The clutch hits, the attitude, the Tony Plush alter ego and postgame interviews, they were all fantastic. But he wasn’t a power hitter at any point in his career (12 career home runs). He’ll bring the charisma, but I doubt many long balls.

6) Casey McGehee

Holy moly I almost forgot about this guy. Two great years in 2009 and 2010 at 3rd base (he posted a .285 average with 23 bombs and 104 RBI in 2010!), then kind of fell off in 2011 before leaving Milwaukee. But seemed like a super likable guy and a fan favorite. He last played in 2016, has 67 career home runs, could be a dark horse here but it feels like his total will be low.

5) Bill Hall

Bill Hall’s 2006 season is legitimately one of the best from a 3rd baseman in franchise history. He just couldn’t stay consistent after that. He just turned 45, hasn’t played since 2012, but I think of the older guys he’s going to be the most prepared for this thing on July 25th.

4) Corey Hart

Man, he was the first guy up from that bumper crop of prospects in 2004. Hart, JJ, Prince, Rickie, just stacked offensively. He’s 43 years old and has been coaching now for a few years, so he’s still in the daily grind, maybe tossing BP, taking a few hacks. He’s got a solid chance.

3) Carlos Gomez

Brian McCann was such a Grade A Jackwagon. And Carlos Gomez is one of my favorite Brewer players in recent memory. If the team didn’t stink on ice in 2013, he had a legit MVP caliber season (he posted an 8.4 WAR that year). He’s not yet 40 and played as recently as 2019. VERY good chance to win this thing.

2) Ryan Braun

Do yourself a favor, watch that entire 9 minute video. Goosebumps. Braunie is the most prolific home run hitter in Brewer history and had the clutch gene times a thousand. Hell, I still might take him today in a do-or-die at bat even though he hasn’t played since 2020. He’s even been in the Home Run Derby on All Star weekend, so he’s not unfamiliar with the format. If I were putting betting lines on this I’d have him a slightly plus money, but I think this guy has the best chance:

1) Eric Thames

The reason I like Thames over Braun is because I assume Thames is still a physical specimen. He’s the youngest of this group (38) he also played more recently than anyone, and his whole thing was hitting BOMBS. For those reasons, I give him the slight edge over Braunie. CUE THE KOREAN CHEER SONG!

Christ did I love playing that on the air the morning after a big game from Thames.

So there you have it. Let’s just hope everyone has a great time and nobody tears a muscle raising money for charity.

PS: The real MVP of this alumni Home Run Derby: