First things first, how does this guy know my morning routine so well?? Because from 1:13 to the end of the video, he pretty much nailed it. Maybe mix in a bowl of Honey Nut Cherrios, but beyond that, self loathing in my bathroom mirror is how we crank it up most days.
Anyway, I had never heard of this legend until today. His name is Don West. I randomly happened upon one of his videos on Twitter while I was ‘show prepping’ and to say I was blown away would be an understatement. Here I’ve been grinding out internet drivel for almost two decades, trying to make people laugh with some fairly obvious observations on life, when all I needed to do to be a success was buy a bunch of baseball cards for $39.99 at Wild West Deals.
I could have been the cock of the walk! I could have been pickin’ up chicks! I thought I had to be thoughtful, a good listener, supportive, etc. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. I didn’t realize it until the words passed through Don West’s lips, but the only thing women ultimately want is a guy who knows when to pull the trigger on a great deal on baseball cards. It was so obvious but I couldn’t see it. The only shame here is that this deal was available in 1997, and it is now 2025. But I guess better late than never? If only I could go back and tell 13 year old Jonathan this information. Sadly, I cannot.
PS: UPDATE: RIP Don West. I did a little more research and apparently he wasn’t just a pitchman, he was a wrestling commentator as well. But he passed away in 2022. The good news for Don West is that legends NEVER die.
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