Kopp’s introduces custard flavor honoring Bob Uecker.

Things you love to see: This.

Look obviously it’s going to be a weird year in the aftermath of a legend like Ueck passing. I realize he’d been on a very prorated schedule the last few years, but just knowing that when you turn on the radio there’s no chance you’re going to hear, ‘hello again everyone and welcome….’ is going to feel bizarre. I expect tributes like this to keep rolling in and I expect HEAVY waterworks inside of Am Fam Field for whatever video tribute they’re going to play for Ueck on Monday. Still just hard to fathom that Mr. Baseball isn’t going to be on the air anymore.

Anyway, on to other, less sad, matters: How the Brewers are going to win the World Series this season! They’re coming off of a 93 win season where they led the NL Central division wire to wire. Pat Murphy was named Manager of the Year and nothing bad happened in the playoffs. Fun! This year they’re picked to finish second in the division and to win 80-82.5 games, depending on the source. Certainly the loss of Adames and the loss of Devin Williams factors into the national regression narrative, but that’s nothing new for this franchise. They’ve hit the over on season wins every single season since 2016, with the exception of the pandemic year which we all know didn’t count*.  Here are 5 things that need to happen in order for the team to properly honor Mr. Baseball with a championship:

5. Set injuries to ‘off.’

Absolute no brainer and I can’t figure out why more teams don’t do it right at the beginning of the season. We’ve already got some major pitching issues in terms of injuries: DL Hall, Aaron Ashby, Brandon Woodruff, and Tobias Myers are all starting the year on the IL. This could have been avoided!

4. The Miz makes his debut.

He’s the #1 pitching prospect in the system, #4 overall. Dude throws the hot, stinky cheddar. Had a 3.35 ERA at AAA last season, but struck out 127 batters in less than 100 innings. He’s 22 years old, he’s got some Wild Thing Vaughn control issues, but he’s tall (6’7) and SLINGS it. I know they want to keep him in line to be a starter at some point, but I think Misiorowski makes his debut out of the bullpen as a multi-inning weapon, a la Josh Hader in 2017.

3. Bionic Back Yeli.

Last season we finally saw the ghost of 2018/2019 Yeli. Hitting for average, hitting for power, an All Star. Then the back injury, and season ending surgery. I wasn’t expecting him to do much in Spring Training, and to join the team at some point in May. Well, not only did he play in Cactus League games, he raked. He hit .353 with 3 home runs and 11 RBI. If he can duplicate last season (or better) for a FULL season, we’re cooking.

2. Jackson Chourio Quantum Leap.

Last May, it felt like our #1 prospect might have been called into duty too early. He was SCUFFLING. Batting average around .200, not hitting for a ton of power, he looked overwhelmed. But then? He had his Neo, “I know Kung Fu,” moment. He was on FIRE the rest of the season. Posted a .275 average and a 20/20 season as a 20-year old. Then went on to murder baseballs in the postseason, hitting not one, but two game tying home runs in Game 2 against the Mets. His numbers this Spring? I’m glad you asked. He hit .469 with a 1.224 OPS. If he’s healthy, I don’t think there’s any reason he can’t approach a 30/30 season and make an All Star game. Certainly there can be sophomore slumps, but that would go against his pedigree at every other level he’s played at. People wonder how they’re going to make up for the offense lost with Adames moving on, a full season of locked-in Chourio will cover a lot of it.

1. Mark Attanasio Malibu Sands.

(that’s Mark in the middle)

When Mark bought the team from the Selig’s in 2005, he INSTANTLY raised the financial floor. In a league with no salary cap, most Brewer fans realize that we’re going to be behind the 8-ball in terms of payroll. But Mark made us competitive. And I’d argue that’s largely been the case up until the trade deadline in 2022. We can all argue about whether or not the Hader deal was good in the long run or not (it was), but in that moment, it was clearly a move to get value back on a player that they no longer wanted to pay. They were in first place at the time, and made no other moves other than to unload their All Star closer. That sunk the season, and ever since then it’s felt like we’re cutting coupons and pinching pennies. We low-balled Corbin Burnes and destroyed that relationship before trading him, no big moves at trade deadlines when we have a first place team, next to no free agent moves in the offseason. I don’t pretend to know what all goes on behind the scenes and whether or not this franchise is treading water financially, losing money, making money, etc. And I recognize that they’re never going to compete with the Dodgers/Yankees/Phillies etc. when it comes to doling out massive contracts every offseason.

BUT: It would be nice if Matt Arnold was allowed to take bigger swings if the team is in contention in July. Yes it will cost you prospects, but if the team is sitting in first place, and there are big bats or pitchers available at the deadline (there will be) GO GET THEM. Make the CC Sabathia move, make the Zack Greinke move and push your chips to the middle every once in a while. I think this team as presently constituted can win 88-90 games and win another division title, but if they’re going to compete in the playoffs with the Dodgers or Phillies or Braves, they’re probably going to have to make a few splash moves. Lately it feels like Mark is more concerned with just being interesting enough to keep fans coming to the game, and this fan base deserves more than that.

Bingo bango! The championship script is set! Get some Mr. Baseball frozen custard and lock in for the next 6 months.

*Remember when you could pay to have a cardboard cutout of your head at the games?? The further we get from that era, the stranger it feels that any of that happened.

PS: I play this on the air every year on Opening Day, gives me goosebumps every time: