Sacramento Kings “Perfect Pump” promo gives us the gift of Tom’s perfect pump.

You can tell by his reaction that this isn’t the first ‘perfect pump’ in Tom’s gas pumping career. He’s been training for this moment his whole life. You think Tom ever stopped at one of the ‘full service’ pump back in the day? Please. Let some pencil neck high school kid pump his gas when he’s perfectly capable of pumping his own?? For sure not. Tom handles his own business. I’d be willing to bet Tom hasn’t seen in the inside of a quick lube oil change place either. He’s doing it himself in his driveway at 7am on Saturday while blaring Chicago’s Greatest Hits from his garage boom box as God intended. Tom’s been up since 4am and he’s ready to tell you about it!

Side note: If you put one of things at Poto I don’t think I’d be able to pry myself away from it. I’d just be pumping all day long. You could actually put two of them side-by-side and have pump-offs where two people can go head to head. Like some kind of post Industrial Revolution Wild West gun fight. Get Kwik Trip as a title sponsor, start selling some Dunkers at the sportsbook. Win, win, win.

PS: I vaguely remember ‘full service’ pumps at gas stations when I was a kid. Some guy would come up to your car, pump your gas for you, check your oil, tire pressure, the whole thing. But for most of the country that type of service is from a bygone era. EXCEPT in New Jersey. Many years ago my wife and I were driving through the Garden State en route to Cooperstown. We pulled of at a gas station, I put it in park, and a guy came up to my car and tapped on my window. I gave him my wallet and keys, told him “I don’t want any trouble” and started to walk away. Turns out he was just there to fill up my tank. Apparently it is illegal in New Jersey to pump your own gas, they’re all full service stations. So yeah, I did not get off on the right foot with my gas pumper.