Before we hop into this blog, in the world of fictional TV/movie backup quarterbacks, who are you taking if you need one game to save your life: Jonathan “Mox” Moxson from Varsity Blues, or Matt Saracen from Friday Night Lights? On the one hand, Mox has a great first name. A name given to men of distinction. Jonathan’s have a sharp wit and dull senses (in general). He’s got all of the raw physical tools you want a quarterback to have, but my issue with Mox has always been that he’s a bit of a….shall we say…..poopy pants. And he has no reason to be! My man you’re in the prime of your life, your family supports you, you’ve got a great girl and now you’re QB1 for a Texas High School football team. But to watch his demeanor for a lot of that movie you’d have thought he was going to work an 18-hour shift in a West Virginia coal mine. I bet he had a LOT of R.E.M. on his mixed CD’s.
On the other hand, you’ve got Matt Saracen. He’s got REAL problems. His dad is literally at war, and he’s caring for his grandma who is increasingly dealing with symptoms of dementia. On top of that he’s now QB1 taking over for a quarterback was on the fast track to the NFL, and he’s got to work a regular shift at the Alamo Freeze just to make enough money to get by. He’s short, scrawny, and doesn’t possess any of the physical gifts that Mox does*. But he succeeds through grit, determination, and the desire to prove everyone in East Dillon wrong.
I dunno, maybe it’s just that Friday Night Lights is LIGHT YEARS better than Varsity Blues, but I think Saracen gets the edge. I trust a QB who has to handle real life responsibilities as opposed to Mox who just has to decide whether or not he’s going to hook up with Ali Larter in a whip cream bikini. NERF LIFE MOX!
Actually, you know what, here’s my fictional quarterback to save my life:
Alright, we got sidetracked there. On to the true spirit of this blog. With Malik Willis likely to get the start in the home opener against the Colts on Sunday, it got me thinking about the Island of Misfit Toys that were the backup quarterbacks who had to make starts for Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers missed significant time in 2013 and 2017, and a little bit in 2018. Without further adieu:
5) Seneca Wallace
The look Mac is giving Seneca there was ALL of us watching him play in 2013. The Packers neglected the backup quarterback spot that entire offseason and then Rodgers went down against the Bears on a Monday night in early November. He had to finish that game and made the start against the Eagles the next week before getting hurt in the first half. He was AWFUL. Remember when you were in school and would space out in class for 20 minutes and then the teacher would call on you to respond to a question and you had no idea what the topic even was? THAT’S how Seneca Wallace played quarterback in Green Bay. WOOF.
4) DeShone Kizer
I hope I’m wrong, but this is the experience I’m steeling myself for on Sunday. Kizer and Willis have some similarities. Both are athletic, both have a great build, both were ‘kind of’ high draft picks (Kizer 2nd round, Willis 3rd round), both were given early opportunities. Kizer didn’t pan out in Cleveland and came to Green Bay in 2018. He played a portion of that opening night comeback win against the Bears when Rodgers went down, then he played most of the season finale against the Lions where nothing was on the line and Rodgers essentially opted out after the first drive. He threw the ball 42 times in those games and committed 4 turnovers, two picks and two fumbles. YEESH.
3) Scott Tolzien
I still can’t believe Scott Tolzien played meaningful snaps for the Green Bay Packers. He was a FANTASTIC Badger quarterback, but at no point did I think he had the NFL in his future. And you know what? He wasn’t terrible. He was bad, but he wasn’t terrible. He threw for a touchdown in that game against the Eagles when Seneca went down, he threw for 340 yards (and three picks) the next week against a good Giants team on the road, he ran for a touchdown the next week against the Vikings in a game where he was ultimately benched and ended in a tie. He came back to the Packers for a bit in 2015 and then spent 2016 and 2017 as a back up in Indy. Again, WAY more than I thought I’d see Tolzien at the NFL level.
2) Brett Hundley
This was a guy the Packers invested in a little bit. He played in college at UCLA and the Packers spent a 5th round pick on him in 2015. Rodgers went down with the collarbone injury in 2017 and Hundley made every start until Rodgers returned in Week 15, then made two more starts in Week 16 and 17 after the Packers were eliminated from playoff contention in that Week 15 loss to Carolina. You know what? He wasn’t bad! There were definitely some valleys, but there were a few peaks as well! Well, maybe more ‘mounds’ as opposed to ‘peaks,’ but still, it was something. He beat da Bears on the road, he almost beat Pittsburgh on the road in primetime (his best game), and he got back-to-back overtime wins to keep the team in playoff contention until that Rodgers return in Week 15. My wife and I were at the road game in Cleveland when he beat DeShone Kizer and the winless Browns in overtime with a walkoff touchdown pass to Davante Adams. We paid $6 for two seats! But overall he went 3-4 in 7 meaningful starts, that’s about all you can ask for.
1) Matt Flynn
FLYNN IT TO WIN IT! A national champion at LSU, drafted in the 7th round to Green Bay in 2008. He LIT UP a bad Lions team like a Christmas tree in the finale of the 2011 season, throwing 6 touchdown passes. He was able to parlay that into a fat contract in Seattle in 2012, but got beat out by a rookie-year Russell Wilson for the starting gig. He took his bag of money (with a money symbol on it) to Oakland, before boomeranging back to Green Bay to rescue the season in 2013. He took over for Tolzien in that tie game against Minnesota, then went 2-2 in the next 4 games with a QB rating of 86.1 to keep the Packers alive until Rodgers got back for the season finale in Chicago. My favorite Flynn memory? It wasn’t the 6-touchdown game against the Lions, it was the comeback against Romo and the Cowboys during that run in 2013:
Sad Romo! Sad Jason Garrett! Happy internet Packer blogger!
Matt Flynn was the PERFECT backup quarterback. Never good enough to threaten the starter, just good enough to win you a few games in the starter’s absence. He had a little Favre-charm to him too. Not unsolicited Crocs-pic charm, but that southern gun-slinger charm. Beloved by everyone.
So, that’s the scope for Sunday. On a sliding scale from Seneca Wallace to Matt Flynn, where will Malik Willis (if he starts) end up?
*Matt Saracen being the backup quarterback on a state-title contending team in Texas is the least plausible part of that entire series (and that includes Landry literally killing someone in Season 2). No chance a Texas high school football team goes into their year with a scrawny walk-on as their backup QB.
PS: Did you know DeShone Kizer is still only 28 years old?? I would have thought he’s at least 35. That feels like a lifetime ago.
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