Wrapping a Costco Hot Dog in a slice of Costco Pizza is next level fooding.

CUE THE MUSIC!

My wife and I have been Costco members (Platinum nbd/kbd) for many, many years. And like every single person who is a Costco member, we always stop at the food court for a bite after we spend $300 on nonsense.

9 times out of 10 I go with the Costco hot dog. You simply can’t beat the value on an all-beef frank of that size AND a soda for $1.50. The amount of meat you get to put in your mouth for the cost per inch makes it nearly impossible to pass up. Almost as impossible as the remark about me you just made in your brain as you read that last sentence.

But every once in a while I’m not in the mood for a glizzy (?) and instead want to grab a slice of pizza that will completely destroy the roof of my mouth. And the super slice is only $1.99! Also outrageous value!

Well you know what I had never considered while I’m debating between those two food items? Purchasing them both and combining them into one super food! What an innovater. Big brain move. Get all of the calories you need in a day and twice the sodim in one fell swoop. Put this man up there with the first person that dipped french fries in a milkshake, or the person that put ranch dressing on pizza, or the person that put a drumstick on a waffle and poured syrup on top. I hope his legacy is long and his future Ozempic deal pays him handsomely.

PS: I know, I know, the chicken bake at Costco is allegedly awesome as well. I just can’t get past the $3.99 price point. Again, I’m certain there’s great value there, but when I’ve got a quarter pound frank staring me in the face for $1.50, I can’t pay more than double for something else.