We’ve got a ‘cat pervert’ neighbor dispute. All timer.

Listen, I’m not going to try and delve into the minds of these neighbors and what all led up to one calling the other a ‘cat pervert.’ That’s a job for a therapist on Better Help.

Here’s what I do know for a fact: This cat purposefully turned these neighbors against each other. I’m not sure how long it took, how many trips to the neighbor’s house he/she had to make, etc. I just know that this has been a part of this cat’s plan from the moment it moved into that neighborhood.

I’m sure these neighbors got along BEAUTIFULLY before this cat hopped on the scene. They were barbecuing together on Friday nights, mutually grousing about the one guy in the neighborhood that did No Mow May, got each other’s mail when one of them was out of town, the works.

Enter: a cat. This cat noticed how well things were going and decided right then and there that it could unravel the entire thing. It might have taken it YEARS, but all of its hard work finally paid off as it got to watch one neighbor call the other neighbor a cat pervert, while someone else called the cops. Friggin’ cats, man. Wouldn’t shock me if we found out one day that they’re the instigators in 90% of the major wars fought in this world.

PS: I love how happy that guy was with himself when he came up with ‘cat pervert’ on the spot. He was GIDDY. Elite tier insult, especially in the moment. The guy filming it can laugh it off all he wants, but he’s been branded a cat pervert for the rest of this life. Cat pervert.

Double PS: Cops don’t get enough credit for having to deal with calls like these. When that scanner hits they have no idea what’s about to be called in. Traffic stop, domestic dispute, cat pervert.