WHOOOOOOOOO! Let’s go baby! Do you hear that Olive Garden?? DO YOU HEAR THAT?! You could have been slinging your breadsticks in the best small town in Wisconsin. But you didn’t want us! And now we don’t want you. We tried our best for DECADES to lure your mediocre Italian food heated up in a dirty microwave to our city. We turned ourselves into the best Sheboygan we could! And you still said no. Well, if you can’t love at our worst, you don’t deserve us at our best. Don’t even think about trying to open one of your restaurants in our fair city now. We’ve moved on*.
Now I know a LOT of people are going to roll their eyes at this and hit the ‘laughing’ reaction on Facebook, but I think this is pretty cool! Sheboygan has it’s problems, no doubt. But, as the article mentions, it’s got a LOT of great stuff as well. The John Michael Kohler Arts Center is awesome despite it’s lack of a Bob Ross exhibit, the Weill Center, Above and Beyond Children’s Museum is not only fantastic but in one of the oldest (possibly haunted) buildings in the state. We’ve got TREMENDOUS bakery options (Johnston’s, City, West Side, Oostburg even though that’s more ‘county’), that all make Sheboygan hard rolls. Despite the aforementioned lack of an Olive Garden, we’ve got award winning restaurants (Stefano’s, Ill Ritrovo, Lino’s, Prohibition Bistro, Blind Horse among MANY others), one of the best ice cream stops I’ve ever been to, South Pier Parlor, and a local country music station where the morning show DJ tries his best.
We also possess one of the best lakefronts in the game. It’s not super commercialized with 4 lanes of traffic going each way like you see in bigger cities like Chicago or Milwaukee. It’s a beautiful, quiet stretch, where you can park, stare at the lake, zone out, and wonder where your life went wrong.
Not to mention, we have the most roundabouts per capita of any town/city in the United States, AND we’re the Bratwurst Capital of the World. And there are a TON of different local butcher shops to procure those brats at (Miesfeld’s, Brockman’s, Old Wisconsin).
In addition to all of that, we get to enjoy all four seasons in all of of their glory (spring, winter, fall, one day of summer), and our local roads have allowed our cars to grow their suspensions stronger than any other town’s cars in the world!
All kidding aside, I was born and raised here, I love this town, and literally ANY person who comes for a visit leaves loving it. Their opinion may be plied by a few beverages at 3 Sheeps, but it is a glowing review nonetheless.
*J/k we will still 1,000% accept your restaurant just tell us what you want us to do, we’ll do anything.
PS: #1 gripe from people in the comment section is going to be calling a town of 50,000 people a, ‘small town.’ Mortal lock of the century (and they’re not wrong).
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