Because the chain restaurant gods never smiled down on Sheboygan, giving us the one thing we truly want, and need, as a community, I don't follow a lot of what's going on at Olive Garden in terms of marketing. Maybe it's bitterness, maybe I'm just disconnected, maybe both, but it's really not on my radar anymore.
So up until today, I had never even heard of the original Pasta Pass. From the sounds of it, for $100, you can buy one of these bad boys, and for nine weeks you can just walk into an Olive Garden and order anything off of their Never Ending Pasta menu. Just drop your Pasta Pass on the table like it's an Amex Black card and they'll bring you a mediocre meal they heated up in a dirty microwave in the blink of an eye. Honestly, if you live in an elite community that was granted an Olive Garden, it doesn't sound like a bad deal. Nine weeks of unlimited indigestion and diarrhea. Fun!
Well this year, Olive Garden upped the ante: A LIFETIME Pasta Pass! For the low, low price of $500, a limited number of these Lifetime Pasta Passes will be available for purchase starting this Thursday.
Now if you've read this far in the blog, you've probably been able to figure out that I'm not a huge fan of Olive Garden at this point in my life. When I was 18 years old? 21? 25? Hell yeah! But Sheboygan has too many local, award winning Italian restaurants to justify messing with an Olive Garden, even if we had one.
That said, I think I need to purchase a Lifetime Pasta Pass just for the cache of it. A pass that leads you to a lifetime of anything is as baller as it gets! Not to brag, but I'm already an Amazon Prime member, and a Costco Gold member. This would complete the Holy Trinity. I just think the knowledge that you can walk into a restaurant anytime you want, and they have to get you plate of food immediately, would give you a little extra swagger in your step.
PS: One reason I would actually love to seen an Olive Garden in Sheboygan, is to see the line the first night it's open. Let's say hypothetically a Sheboygan Olive Garden opened on a Saturday. If I walked in there at 6pm, how long would the wait be? Hours? Days?
'Table for two, how long is the wait?'
'Ummmm let's see here, when's the next Olympics?'
'Perfect! First name is Jon.'
Double PS: If they sold these and the franchise closed in two months I would laugh out loud.
