« Otto Spanning The Globe

And finally today....

by Otto Man

As usual, Otto's commentary in bold... 

"The "male masturbation diet" was developed to help men across the world lose weight.... through masturbation. A report shows that a 28 year-old was able to lose nearly 9 pounds in two months, simply through watching his diet and masturbating between three and five times a day. The man states "I read online that pleasuring oneself was the same as running 200 meters. Without a girlfriend, the only way I could become thin was through masturbation!" Doctors however urge not to use the "masturbation diet" "The issue with the effectiveness of this diet is that while you are exhausting your body, you are not consuming calories by using physical strength and that excess self-stimulation can adversely impact hormone levels." More

...not to pile on with the doctors, but the unspoken part would be: "YEAH! And who's got that kind of time?!?!?" And I know plenty of guys with no girlfriends. In many cases, TRUST ME, this doesn't work as an exercise plan! 

"A 29-year-old mother was busted for letting her 10-year-old girl ride around inside a dog cage in the back of a pickup on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Motorists called 911 after spotting the girl inside the cage. The mom, who's an outspoken animal lover, told cops the girl was in the cage because she loved the dog and had asked to ride with the pooch in the back. The couple was arrested for child endangerment and tossed in jail." More

I remember when I used to ride in the bed of my dad's pick-up truck when I was a kid (like EVERY other kid who's dad had a pick-up did). At least she was restrained a little bit... 

"A pair of drunk tourists stole a Disney World golf cart and went on a joy ride ride that took them right past a patrolling sheriff's deputy. A deputy was patrolling near Epcot when he spotted the golf cart driving 'in a reckless manner' towards the Walt Disney World Swan. 'They rounded the corner fast enough to cause the extended golf cart to almost tip over.' The deputy gave chase and caught the intoxicated men who were both arrested." More

OH FLORIDA! (though in Florida's defense, these were tourists... still. Must be something in the water.) 

"A Missouri high school student was arrested for changing a classmate's name in the school yearbook to a sexually suggestive term. The 17-year-old junior changed a student's last name from Mastain to "masturbate" in the yearbook. She could be charged with first-degree property damage, a felony, and harassment. The school decided against reprinting more than 700 yearbooks and instead placed stickers on the altered pages with the student's correct surname. The school estimated the costs of reprinting 720 yearbooks at $41,000." More

Why do I have a feeling this caps off what's been a very long 11 years in for the Mastain kid? 

And finally today... "A Virginia mom will spend her upcoming weekends behind bars because she mooned a school bus full of 45 children. The 34-year-old admits that she had an argument with the bus driver, who sent a note home saying that her son was misbehaving. She still denies she mooned the driver. She was convicted of disorderly conduct and sentenced to six months in jail." More

I really don't have a better comment to add here than the video that accompany's the story... 

Yup... 'nother day in the south.