« Otto Spanning The Globe

And finally today....

by Otto Man

AS usual, Otto's comments in bold... 

"A 71-year-old fella was not happy that someone was blocking his driveway and his anger landed him in jail. A car that was involved in a multi-vehicle accident and a Good Samaritan pulled into his driveway.  The old man needed to go somewhere but couldn't get out of his driveway so he called the cops. He didn't want to hear any business about the accident he just wanted the cars moved. He ended up getting combative and fought with police until they handcuffed him. Then, he faked a heart attack and when police un-cuffed him, he started fighting with them again. At one point, he yanked out his false-teeth and whipped them at the cops along with a wad of chewing tobacco. He was charged with assault and making terroristic threats." More

And they probably stepped on his lawn too... Now I can see being upset that my dinner is being delayed, but this goes a little far. (though I do wonder: couldn't someone have just moved their car?) The mugshot is excellent BTW...  

"A naked man showed up at someone's front door in the middle of the night in Florida-- to propose! The man claimed his girlfriend called him to the house and he was about to propose to her. But the woman inside said she wasn't his girlfriend and had never met him. She called the cops, he spit on officers and had to be tased." More

OH FLORIDA! 


And finally today... "A Washington High School student said she was turned away from her senior prom for having a large chest. According to the school's dress code, strapless dresses are allowed as long as cleavage, midriff and lower back are covered. She explains, "I feel that it is because I'm bigger chested and there is more cleavage that you can see, and there's nothing I could really do about that." Her parents have no problem with the rules, but say their daughter was singled out for having a large chest, with her mother saying: "All women are not created equal, and you can not compare a golf ball to a grapefruit. It ain't gonna happen." Her father wonders what kind of dress the school would have found acceptable. "A girl like Brittany should not have to go to a dance in a burlap sack because she's large busted," he said. "It's ridiculous." Her parents say they want a public apology." More

As a former teenage boy, let me speak for teenage boys everywhere when I say: CAN WE STOP OPPRESSING CLEAVAGE? PLEASE?!?!? I mean you wind up dropping a couple hundred bucks on the whole prom thing, renting a tux, getting the limo, dinner, corsage, tickets, and on and on and on, and at the VERY least there should at least be the payoff of cleavage at the dance! And really, how big can her boobs really be? 

... ummm Wow... how old is she again? You know... before I get in trouble... 


HAVE A GOOD ONE FOLKS!